[CA] began pestering [CG]

[Eridan Ampora]

-- caligulasAquarium [CA] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

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CA: hey is this yer handle
CA: yer kar right
CA: unless yer like
CA: one o those assholes wwho givves people the wwrong number er somethin
CA: but yea its me the cool guy ya met
CA: jacket, hair, tall, glasses

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[Karkat Vantas]

CG: FUCK NO.
CG: I DON'T DO THAT SHIT.
CG: BUT I AM KIND OF BUSY AT THE MOMENT.
CG: IMPORTANT MOVING IN AND DESTROYING THE LAST REMNANTS OF MY HAPPY LIFE IN MY *REAL* HOME THINGS. SUCH AS, I DON'T KNOW, STRANGLING THE LAST FLEETING SPARKS OF HOPE I HAVE LEFT AS CRABDAD BLOWS HIS SHIT OVER THE STUPIDITY OF THE CHEAP ASS MOVERS HE HIRED TO GET US UP HERE.
CG: THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOUR TOO FUCKING LAZY TO HAUL EVERYTHING UP YOURSELF. BUT NO, NO ONE LISTENS TO THE ONLY ONE IN THIS APARTMENT WITH ANY COMMON SENSE.
CG: SO WHAT DO YOU WANT, AMPORA?

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[Eridan Ampora]

CA: nothin much
CA: jus makin sure
CA: fuck ton o neww people an stuff its good ta see wwhos gonna be yer good friends an wwhos jus gonna be a fuckwwad
CA: my dad has a name fer people he doesnt like
CA: its like
CA: cuntsucker er somethin
CA: maybe itll come ta me wwhen im battlin it out wwith spiderwwhore
CA: wwhatevver
CA: yea wwelcome to neww york
CA: the place neww jerseyers go wwhen they realize their citys a shite hole
CA: cant say i been here long meself though
CA: maybe youd be better off wwith an introduction from one o the others
CA: yer shitty decision hangin wwith those peasants

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[Karkat Vantas]

CG: WELL I WOULDN'T GO FAR AS TO SAY FRIENDS.
CG: WE JUST FUCKING MET.
CG: AND SPIDERWHORE?
CG: YOU KNOW WHAT, NO.
CG: I DON'T EVEN WANT TO KNOW.
CG: THAT INTRODUCTION WILL HAVE TO DO FOR NOW.
CG: IT'S NOT LIKE ANYONE ELSE WILL BE TALKING TO ME AROUND HERE.

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[Eridan Ampora]

CA: wwell if ya wwant ta make an ass o yerself wwhy not head ovver to the memo
CA: its wwhere you make bad first impressions then evveryone hates you forevver
CA: wwankers
CA: an no im talkin long term arrangements
CA: a 4 year plan if ya wwill
CA: so far ye seem like the only one im gonna be able ter stand talkin to outta all o these assclowwns
CA: but wwho am i ta judge
CA: as far as i knoww ya could be a dick mongerin cunt
CA: y'canne be to careful wwhen lookin fer trash
CA: its first impressions mate

[Karkat Vantas]

CG: WHAT MEMO?
CG: YEAH, CALLING SOMEONE A CUNT IS DEFINITELY THE BEST WAY TO GIVE SOMEONE A GOOD FIRST IMPRESSION. LET ME TAKE DOWN NOTES ON HOW TO FORGE LONG-LASTING AND PROSPEROUS FUCKING RELATIONSHIPS. HOW COULD HAVE MY SOCIAL LIFE SURVIVED WITHOUT YOUR ENLIGHTENMENT.
CG: MAYBE THE BEST WAY TO FIND OUT WHO YOU CAN TRUST IS NOT TO CALL THEM ALL WANKERS.
CG: THOUGH, THAT DOESN'T REALLY APPLY TO ME SINCE I'M PLANNING TO JUST FADE INTO THE BACKGROUND UNTIL GRADUATION.
CG: THE FASTER I GET OUT OF THIS SHITHOLE THE BETTER.

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[Eridan Ampora]

CA: aww hell naww
CA: thats no wway to go through high school
CA: ill be damned if i wwatch you just steww it out like some kind of rubber plant
CA: i OWWN these halls
CA: and im thinkin its time for some dual management
CA: you gotta be cool
CA: cool man
CA: COOL KAR
CA: be cool
CA: an i knoww howw
CA: best part is y still don havve ter trust no one
CA: just be yourself
CA: but wwith help from me youll go from 'guy wwho sits in back'
CA: to 'guy wwhos so cool evveryone else sits up front'
CA: dig?

[Karkat Vantas]

CG: NO.
CG: FUCK NO.
CG: DID YOU NOT HEAR ME BEFORE OR DO YOU HAVE FUCKING FISHPASTE FOR BRAINS?
CG: LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO BE "COOL" OR WHATEVER SLUDGE YOUR SPEWING FROM MOUTH. I JUST WANT TO GET THROUGH THE NEXT THREE YEARS AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.
CG: IF YOU FEEL LIKE CLIMBING UP THE SOCIAL LADDER OF POPULARITY, THEN GO AHEAD.
CG: BUT I'M FINE RIGHT HERE.

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[Eridan Ampora]

CA: ok i guess its time for me to be serious
CA: because you seem to be stubborn enough to actually go through with your plan here
CA: youre going to be fucking lonely
CA: no one will like you and unless you can cover yourself up, people are going to hate you even more for whining about it
CA: im offering you help here
CA: so you dont fucking wake up one day tired of shitty insignificante vita AND FOTTUTO KILL YOURSELF
CA: believe me ive tried
CA: it aint pretty
CA: im trying to help you, because i dont care how much of a stupid loner you are
CA: you need a friend
CA: and you got a better chance with me than any of them
CA: by all means disregard me and go through four years of your life only talking to, what, your dad?
CA: youre gonna crack before first semesters over
CA: sorry if you think you can actually pull this off, but it's your life you're ruining here. I hate this shit, and wouldn't even be talking to you if I wasn't in your shoes 3 years ago. So fucking man up, and trust someone for the first time in your FUCKING life you FUCKING INSIGNIFI-CUNT
CA: merda
CA: speeches ovver take it or leavve it asshole
CA: i nevver said any a that
CA: 3B(

[Karkat Vantas]

CG: OH OF COURSE, HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO NAIVE? YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY THE FUCKING GRAND MASTER OF ALL THINGS FRIEND RELATED. HOW COULD I HAVE EVER THOUGHT THAT I COULD MEET PEOPLE ON MY OWN AND SURVIVE THE NEXT THREE YEARS OF MY HIGH SCHOOL CAREER WITHOUT THE ASSISTANCE OF THE GREAT AND ALL POWERFUL AMPORA? I MUST BE THE WORLD'S BIGGEST FUCKTARD TO HAVE EVEN CONSIDERED NOT JOINING YOUR CONQUEST TO RULE THE HALLWAYS OF ROOSEVELT HIGH WITH AN IRON FIST.
CG: *SIGHS*
CG: LOOK, I APPRECIATE YOUR CONCERN.
CG: EVEN IF I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY. LIKE FUCK, WE JUST MET.
CG: BUT I REALLY DON'T NEED YOUR HELP.
CG: NOT THAT IT'S ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS, BUT MY BEST FRIEND MOVED WITH ME, SO I CAN TALK TO HIM.
CG: BESIDES, NO MATTER WHAT THE FUCK I DO, THERE ARE ALWAYS PEOPLE LIKE YOU WHO COME UP TO TALK TO ME.
CG: GOD KNOWS WHY.
CG: I JUST DON'T FEEL LIKE GOING INTO A BRAND NEW SCHOOL AND IMMEDIATELY START PLOTTING TO BE KING OF HORMONAL TEENAGE IMBECILES.
CG: I HAVE MORE IMPORTANT SHIT TO DO.

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[Eridan Ampora]

CA: yea wwhatevver
CA: to be honest though i don knoww wwhere ya get half this shit from
CA: like i knoww i talk a lot but half the shit you complain about nevver wwas actually said or nothin
CA: of course a lotta people go outta their wway ta dislike me so wwhat'da i knoww
CA: so yea yknoww that time in an effort wwhen you realize shits hopeless
CA: thats noww
CA: yer heads just wway too far up yer owwn ass for this
CA: tata

-- caligulasAquarium [CA] has ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CA] --